Fart Fighters Pen

Put the ink in stink with the Fart Fighters Pen. Topped with a smiling 3D poo emoji, not only can this fully-functioning ink pen help write an essay or sign an important contract, but it can also throw farting fists of fury!

Each time you press a lever on the back, the coordinating boxing glove springs forward to deliver an awful blow (and an awfully hilarious farting or fighting sound effect).

Although they don't actually emit a smell, you'll feel like you're in the midst of a rest stop bathroom (or maybe in the midst of an all-out brawl) thanks to the different laugh- and retch-inducing sounds, be they cheesy action movie POWS! or cut-the-cheesy FARTS!

Of course, farting and fighting are infinitely more funny with a friend, so be sure to pick up a second pen (they come in different styles, you know) to spar against each other or fight side-by-side against politeness. Oh, and between bowel-ripping battles, be sure to use the ballpoint to sign some important business documents.